It was 2012. My marriage of nearly 17 years had ended. I was sitting alone on the couch in the dimly lit condo in which I was renting. I was feeling lonely, and desperate to find love. I was praying for my “soulmate” to come into my life, sweep my off my feet, and together we would live happily ever, you know, like in the movies. I still believed in fairy tales, love songs, and happy endings. As an ER nurse, I work closely with many men and women, a lot of whom are single. I hear a lot about internet dating from my co-workers, who encourage me to “get on ship,” and check it out. I was apprehensive about “putting myself out there.”
Up until this point, I had led what I consider a fairly private life. I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to expose myself to people I don’t know. It seemed kind of creepy. It was this dark, lonely night, that I finally made the decision to enter the mysterious world of internet dating.
I registered on a very popular dating site. I completed my profile with minimal information. And, no pics! Yes, I said it, NO PICS! I later discovered was committing online dating suicide! Why no pics, I didn’t want anyone I knew to see me on here and think I was desperate…I wasn’t desperate, I kept telling myself? For any of you are familiar with online dating, as you can imagine I only received a few messages, as online dating is very visual, and many are skeptical, and righteously so. Those few messages I did receive were from the most desperate of the desperate. They had been on this site for years, and are still looking. Looking for what, I asked myself. Love, friendship, a “hook up?!”
After a couple weeks of no success, I bit the bullet! You guessed it, I put up a photo! Game on!!! The messages came in by the hundreds. I began responding and participating in multiple conversations. I began exchanging cell phone numbers and conversing via text and phone conversations. I was struggling to keep track of who was who. So, I created a file with pics and bullet points of information in attempts to prevent confusing one with another. Then it started…the “requests” for more pics. Apparently, they wanted to see more of me. More, meaning, me naked in precarious positions. Oh, and let’s not forget the barrage of pictures of a man’s male anatomy. I almost had to shield myself as it was truly raining dicks!
What happened to the men that were looking for love? Is this love? I never saw this in the fairy tales! Mom never mentioned this in “the talk.” As time went by, I gained a magnitude of experience. I went progressed from novice to expert. I was now a professional internet dater (more commonly known as a serial dater). I was able, or so I thought, to “weed out” the men from the boys. Years of both my peers and my unsuccessful attempts to find love on the internet, left me feeling even more lonely, and even a bit depressed. If others can make it happen, why have I been unable to make this happen.
We have all heard the success stories of those who found their other half on the internet! What was I doing wrong, I asked? I needed to find out, and what better way to become educated, than asking a man!
Coming soon…Who messages who first on a dating website…”She Says, He Says.” Hear it from both sides…Ladies, dispel the myths…we are well into the 21st century…throw your “rules” in the trash!